I feel like I'm frantically writing this, and I know I won't edit it before I post it. But sometimes I don't believe in that. And this is one of those times.
I just watched the trailer for "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" (
Watch it here) and it brought me to tears. (I should mention that I am brought to tears just as easily as Jude Law is in The Holiday, but that makes these tears no less valid or meaningful.) I just had this overwhelming feeling that this is what I want to do with my life. Make movies, and write stories that capture the essence of what it is to be young, to be unsettled, and most importantly, to be alive.
"I know there are people who say all these things don't happen. And I know these will all be stories some day. But right now, we are alive. And in this moment, I swear, we are infinite."
I can't wait to see this movie. I love the trailer for it, and I mean, yes, I do love trailers (I'll even watch trailers to movies I already own and have seen MULTIPLE times) but I love this one. It's got a great soundtrack, and it has some great quotes. I haven't read the book, and I think I probably will before the movie comes out.
"Why can't you understand? / I'm never changing who I am."
Just as the trailer is ending, and the music swells, and Emma Watson screams, my heart broke a little. I just thought,
This is why it is so important that we are alive. That is the most important thing. EVER. I hurt for all the people who haven't felt like that. And for the people I know who have lost someone like that. For losing sight of the idea that even when life is unbearable, being alive is the most important thing.
"We accept the love we think we deserve."
I have this idea, this obsession, that those years, those awful teenage years where no one really feels right in their own skin (and if you do/did, cheers to you, Mate) they completely change us. Change who we are, who we are going to be, and how we are going to be a part of this world. I have this dream, that maybe someday, in some way, something I do will be able to change, to shape, to alter in some life-affirming way, someone else in those years. That they will read something and know they are not alone in this world. That even if I never know it, I will have saved someone's life because they thought about how important it is for them to be ALIVE.