I started reading Paper Towns (John Green) Wednesday morning around 8:45 am and finished it Friday afternoon at about 1:00 pm. It took me about 12 hours to read this book in the span of 2 and a half days. Give or take. It was great.
I avoided reading this book for about two and a half years. Give or take.
It was a great book, and that's all I had heard about it for years and years. So why did it take me SO LONG to read such a good book? That's an interesting question.
I don't like knock knock jokes. I don't like most jokes, really. I don't like feeling stupid or not knowing what comes next, or what's supposed to come next. I hate books that make me feel like I don't know what's going to happen, but I should. Books that tease me, act like they're smarter than me when I'm already a smart girl. And it's not even usually the book's fault, it's the author feeling superior to his or her readers. (I think an excellent example of this is Peter Van Houten.) So I didn't want to read a book that would act too smart for me.
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| The (infuriating) Peter Van Houten |
But I don't like stupid books either. I hate when stupid people write stupid books with stupid characters that get themselves into stupid situations and act stupidly about it all. I have no patience for people that won't help themselves, why would I want to waste my time reading about someone like that? So I didn't want a book that wasn't going to live up to its hype.
And that's it. That's really it. The Hype.
A book like this, a John Green Book, that has a lot of hype.
And it scares the crap out of me.
What if I don't like it?
What if I like it and I'm just another of the fan girls raving about another over-hyped book that actually lives up to its expectation?
What if it really is too smart for me?
What if I like the characters too much and would rather have them as friends?
What if I want to be them?
What if I hate the characters, but love the book?
It's a lot of personal doubt that goes into this line of (completely ridiculous) thinking. But when I'm thinking it, it doesn't feel so ridiculous. (This isn't just about books - FYI) It's just another way to talk myself out of doing something I want because I'm scared I won't like it as much as I want to, or as much as I feel like I should. And those are really two totally different issues, one is personal, one is external.
But both are problems I have, with myself. And they are dealt with, for me, in the same way: take a breath, calm the eff down, and do it.
Because at the end of the day, or the 2.5 year period as it may be, I'll have ended up reading a really great book.
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